How to Compose Erotic Email

While English teachers groan and bemoan the supposedly “lost art” of letter writing, email has helped millions of women discover their inner Anaïs Nins and Pat Califias. (Hey, they didn’t call it “hotmail” for nothing.) It’s true that typing and sending an email takes less time than writing by hand and sealing and stamping envelopes. But as anyone who has ever tried to express love, longing, and lust with mere words can tell you, the composition process is just as painful as ever.

It’s worth it though. And you don’t have to be a professional writer or award-winning author to tingle your lover’s toes. These tips will have you crafting heart-pounding, blood-roaring prose so hot, your English teacher will forget that you didn’t write it out by hand.

• Present tense works especially well, as it puts your lover immediately into the story: I wrap my arms around you, drawing you closer to me with each breath. Your pulse pounds in your throat; I can feel your heartbeat against my breasts.

• Weave in details from your shared history to add authenticity and show your lover that you cherish the memories. For example, mention music from an artist you’ve seen in concert, set the scene in a familiar location, or include a favorite toy

• Fantasy is fair game. If you can imagine it, you can write it—even if your body can’t do it. Email erotica can involve exotic destinations, improbable positions, impossible feats of stamina and stimulations, winged angel lovers from space

• Even if you’re just dashing off a quickie to let your lover know you’re hot for them, try to engage the senses. Involve smells, tastes, textures, sounds, what things look like, how you feel, how you respond. Even porn stories don’t just list a series of actions (he touched, she sucked, he penetrated, they came). What sets erotic email apart from erotic short stories is that it’s all about your lover(s) and you, which means it’s a perfect vehicle for showing your appreciation for their talents, showing things you’d like to do, and giving them a window into your mind if you’ve been in a rut of work–kids–chores–sleep–repeat for a while.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

• How to Talk to Your Lover About Porn
• How to Build a Sex Tech Collection Your Friends Will Envy

How to Pick the Best Type of Lover

This one’s easy. Find a geek.

Here are 5 reasons geeks make the best lovers.

• Geeks build it so you will come

Second Life’s SexGen animation system, Red Light Center’s beautiful sex animations, and open-source teledildonics did not simply coalesce out of the mists during a marketing department meeting. These types of projects require strong technical know-how along with an open-minded approach to sexual variation. After all, you can’t build sex-tech that serves only your own preferences if you expect others to use it. Especially if you want them to buy it.  That geeks have the passion to commit their technical skills to expanding sexual options for everyone is evidence enough of their enthusiasm and dedication as lovers.

• Geeks interact.

Where a technophobe is able to talk to you in person, a geek is also happy to be with you by texting your phone, flirting with you in a chat room, Skyping you, Twittering just in case you’re on your vibrating couch, sending funny cell phone snapshots to your email, playing online games, commenting on your blog, digging up articles that interest you, seducing you by instant message.

• Geeks don’t shock easily.

Geeks have seen all the porn you can imagine and then some, priming them to be open to your sexual peccadillos. Geeks are not only less likely to be shocked by your exotic requests—they might not even realize that other people think your turn-ons are exotic. In fact, your geek lover might be relieved that your wildest fantasy involves only two other people, five utensils, and a trapeze.

• Geeks know kinky people.

Geeks haven’t just seen a variety of positions, kinks, and fetishes in blue movies. Geeks know (or are) people who enjoy those things, so they don’t dismiss entire categories of sexual interests as the sole province of a bunch of weirdos in San Francisco.
It’s hard to sustain prejudice and bias against an abstract group when you develop relationships with individuals and discover they’re just like you. It doesn’t matter if they dress up like ponies, or refuse to conform to a societal idea of gender norms, or eat pancakes for dinner. Geek lovers know better than to try to impose their sexual preferences or standards on others—including your friends—and are more likely to love and let love.

• Geeks understand multidimensional relationships.

Geeks connect with their online buddies in several guises, often getting to know the person behind the avatar as friendships deepen and move from adult communities to personal IM.
A geek can flow seamlessly between conversation about a friend’s partner and kids in one window and an elaborate group sex scene in another, without feeling any discontinuity between the personas—even if the friend is a forty-three-year-old father of two in IM but a twenty-two-year-old dominatrix in the group.
With all that going on, a geek has no problem accepting that sometimes you want mocha ripple cherry fudge chunk swirl with almonds and a waffle, and sometimes you want vanilla lite.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

• How to Laugh Your Way Through Technical Difficulties and Into Great Webcam Sex

• How to Take Sexy Self-Portraits
  

How to Buy Lingerie for Your Body Type

It seems like lingerie is designed for women who are 5’ 6”, wear a 34C bra, size 5 panties, and size 7 shoes—unless you are that woman and still have fit problems, in which case, I guess it’s designed for our avatars rather than our bodies.

Shopping for lingerie online eliminates a lot of the hassles. It might seem counter intuitive, as with fit troubles you want to be able to try it on. But when you shop online, you can quickly narrow your options to just the negligee that is likely to fit. You can try it on in your own bedroom with your own lighting and your own mirror, and if you hate it, send it back. (Yes, this can cost money, but you won’t begrudge it after you find something that makes you feel like a million bucks.)
And most likely, if you put the effort into the search, you won’t hate it.

• Don’t rely on size chart measurements. Email or call the site with your measurements and notes about your proportions, how other brands and sizes fit you, and what you’re looking for

• Look international. You pay a bit more in shipping, but it’s worth it if you get the right fit.

• Stockings, stretchy chemises, and collars fit just about everyone. It doesn’t matter if the stockings won’t stay up if you’re just wearing them on nights in.

• More coverage can be as sexy as less, especially in sheer fabrics. Lingerie is less about skin as it is about mystery. Especially as we get older

• Forget the size noted on the label and look only for fit. I have lingerie that ranges from size M to size 2X, and it all fits me exactly the same.

• If your proportions are impossible to fit off the rack, investigate custom services. There is nothing wrong with your body—only with the narrow range of fits available.

• Corsets look fantastic on all body shapes and must be made custom to look perfect.

Intimate Shopping

Figleaves.com

Cups from A to JJ. Bands from 28 to 54. Need I say more?

StormyLeather.com

Leather clothing (and toys, noth ready to wear and couture.

Trashy.com

Beverly Hills institution, known for custom garments and costumes.

HipsandCurves.com

Lingerie that celebrates fill, voluptuous curves.

Bravissimo.com

Great selection of bras in D cup and up, plus clothing designed to fit and flatter busty figured.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

• How to Reveal Yourself and How to Know When It’s Time
• How to Use Technology to Give You More Time for Sex

Apologies to all the commenters…

… I only just realized I have moderation on, to weed out spam, but not the *alerts* that I have stuff to moderate. Why yes I’m techie, why do you ask?

Duh.

I’ve turned the alerts on and will attempt to approve things daily.

Carry on!

How to Reassure Your Man That Sex Toys Won’t Replace Him

More often than you’d think, men worry about being replaced by sex-oriented technology. They fear that their penises—which cannot vibrate or rotate and do not come with multiple attachments or clitoral stimulators in cute animal shapes—will no longer be enough after a woman gets her first ride on a jumbo-size rabbit pearl.

You will no more replace your man with toys than he will replace you with porn. Besides, those who prefer inanimate objects to human lovers aren’t good candidates for sexual relationships anyway.

Yet it’s important to treat his anxieties with respect. Think of how you would feel if he laughed or ignored your groundless worries.

• Take him to a sex-positive store or website and look at toys together, reading the articles that tell you different ways to use them and focusing on devices intended for couples.

• Use the toys with him so he can see how nonthreatening they are, and that they are just part of everyday sexuality. If he’s shy, tell him you will be in heaven if you can lie back and let him play you like a violin—and that you will return the favor next time.

• Remind him that the more orgasms you have, the more orgasms you want. Using toys with yourself keeps you feeling sexual overall. As one of my friends puts it, “Having fries with my burger doesn’t make me not want a burger. It just makes me crave the meal again. And again. Are you busy right now?”

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:


• How to Talk to Your Lover About Porn
• How to Build a Sex Tech Collection Your Friends Will Envy

How To Have Cybersex

The old joke about typing one-handed doesn’t cover the half of it. Entire books have been written on this subject, and although many of the other lessons in this book touch on important aspects of cybersex, in this lesson, the focus is on the mechanics of it all.

• Play with language. I don’t care if you’re on webcam and have 3D avatars to boot—language is the foundation of cybersex, and language is the bridge between your minds, hearts, and bodies. Use words that shock and awaken; use imagery drawn from the erotic, the pornographic, and the innocuous. Weaving literary metaphor with raunchy sex talk keeps you both engaged.

• Don’t disappear halfway through. You wouldn’t in real life, and you shouldn’t in cybersex. If you think you will be interrupted, stick with flirting and save the cybersex for another day.

• Select a handle you can stand to read and hear on a regular basis in a sexual context. “HotMama” will serve you better than “JakesMom,” for example.

• Don’t be self-conscious or worried about your spelling or writing. As long as you say what you’re imagining, you’ll do fine.

• Learn the power of “Mmmm”—a cybersex essential. Use it when you can’t think of anything to say but it’s your turn to type, when your lover says something so arousing you need to stop typing for a moment but need to show you’re still there, and when the other is in the middle of writing an elaborate setup and needs a response but not help from you.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

• How to Laugh Your Way Through Technical Difficulties and Into Great Webcam Sex

• How to Take Sexy Self-Portraits