How to Be an Audio Erotica Star

I first encountered audio erotica in 2003, the first time I covered the annual adult entertainment industry tradeshow for my Sex Drive column. Amidst all the flash and glitz was a beautifully appointed booth that looked more suited to Sephora than to Smitty’s Smut Shack. The banner said SOUNDS EROTIC, and I stepped up with a grin and asked “What’s that?”

Half an hour later, I had an excellent education in aural sex from husband-and-wife team Catherine and Brian Oliver-Smith.

Married with three children and another one the way, the couple had reached a point where they were too tired to transition from working parents by day to passionate lovers by night. They experimented with porn videos, but Catherine found them more tedious than titillating. Reading erotic stories worked better, but it required the reader to look at the words instead of the other person, and you had to stop fondling to turn the page. Yet it was impractical to call upon a third party to read to them while they kissed and caressed each other.

Recording erotic stories to play back in bed solved the problem. Brian and Catherine found that by the end of about seven minutes, their touches and gazes reawakened their bodies even as the story realigned their minds. Realizing that their plight was a common one for other parents, they launched a publishing company to bring this relationship-saver to other couples. They hire professional voice talent and choose stories specifically adapted for listening to, rather than reading.

You don’t have to be a professional to star in your own erotic recordings, although if you plan to publish the results, you need to make sure you have legal rights to the stories and any sound effects you use in your composition.

• Choose (or write!) a story that turns you on. If you intend to use someone else’s story for purposes outside your personal relationship, make sure you have permission from the author first. Look for good writing that flows well when you read it aloud—it will sound different to your ear than when you read it to yourself.

• Read through the entire story first, and make note of pronunciations you need to practice (or look up), phrases that tie your tongue, and anything that makes you blush or giggle. You can also mark areas where you want to slow down or speed up, drop your voice to a whisper, or add other dramatic touches. You might think you have no problem reading the descriptions, but you’d be surprised at how the most seasoned professional voices can suddenly be embarrassed or experience stage fright.

• Take your time. Do not rush it. Think of trying for a slow seduction. As with any public speaking, you will think you are speaking way too slowly, and that’s about when it is perfect.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

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How to Be a Voyeur (without Being a Creep)

You won’t need a trench coat and binoculars for this lesson, unless dressing up like a peeping Tom turns you on—in which case, I’m all for it.

One of the best ways to find out whether something turns you on is to watch other people do it and see how you feel. The Internet has given women the same opportunities to “just look” that men have had for centuries. Now that we know what’s out there, we’re taking great strides in improving it.

Visit any adult webcam room, and you quickly realize that the exhibitionists in the group need the voyeurs in order to fulfill their fantasies and get the most out of their experience. Just lurking, without a cam of your own, is enough to feed the performers’ need for an audience. Your presence fuels their fire, and their uninhibited sexuality can turn you on—and might even inspire you to try something new or exotic with your partner.
Try chatting with the webcam performer on things not related directly to sex. Unlike DVD performers, these sex workers are not typically professional talent. They’re more approachable as regular people. Ask about their day, or the clothes they’ve chosen, or their love lives. You’ll be surprised to find that webcam folks are just like the neighbors.
And if it turns out they are the neighbors? Now you know you have something in common.

Online Voyeurism Can:

• Help you learn new sexual skills

• Put your own desires into context (you’re not alone!)

• Turn you on

• Bring you closer to your partner

• Validate your fantasies

• Reduce your anxiety

• Confirm your disinterest

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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by Regina Lynn

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How to (Politely) Reject Offers for Cybersex

It’s bound to happen. If you’re visiting an adults-only community online—and especially if it’s a coed area and you sound female—chances are you will be propositioned for cybersex.

I’ve heard women complain about how often they get propositioned in virtual spaces, whether it’s a 3D world or a text chat room. But I compare it to wearing a pretty dress and high heels. If you’ve obviously done yourself up all nice, people are going to compliment you on it. Likewise, if you’re in a space that is designed to facilitate sex, you have to expect that people will ask you about sex.

You are under no obligation to say yes. You cannot be physically threatened or coerced into sexual activity, and you have a Block or Ignore command if the person disregards your polite rejection and begins to pester you.

Online, a polite rejection is more than just good manners. It keeps the vibe pleasant for everyone within text-shot, it keeps you from getting wound up in arguments instead of flirting and playing, and it shows other interested parties the type of approach that doesn’t work for you.
Suggestions:

• “I appreciate your invitation, although I must decline it.”

• “No thank you! But good luck finding what you seek.”

• “Thank you. Maybe another time?” (Caution: Use this only if you are interested in talking with the person in the future.)

• “No thanks. I am just here to chat tonight.”

• “Thanks hon, I’m waiting for my date tho. Good luck!”

When you are consistently respectful and polite, you earn respect and develop relationships that offer far more beneficial than the momentary satisfaction of verbally smacking the rude or clueless.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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by Regina Lynn

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How to Boost Your Libido

The hamster wheel of modern life diminishes our sex drives every bit as much as illness, chronic pain, or hormonal fluctuations. We don’t always have time to eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep—even though we know all of those things improve our sex lives. Many of us feel like we’re barely holding up under the combination of work, kids, and chores. Add one or more medications, alcohol use, depression, anxiety, body image issues—sometimes it’s a wonder we have sex drives at all.

It’s nice that we have some options for those times when our libidos shoot through the basement and we admit to ourselves we’d rather nap or read than even think about touching ourselves or a partner. However, our minds know that sex is important, even when our bodies seem to have forgotten.

I am not a doctor or a health practitioner, and I’m sensitive to side effects to boot, so please don’t interpret this lesson as medical advice by any stretch of the imagination. I’m also wary of the topical agents that increase blood flow to the genitals, as that seems like a recipe for intimate irritation, and patches annoy my skin; my body is more comfortable with prescription-based helpers like testosterone pills. But the following will give you an idea of what’s out there so you can feel better informed when you talk to your doc about what might work best for your particular body and situation.

Prescription

Testosterone can be delivered by a daily pill or skin patch. I used the pills and kept them next to my birth control pills so I wouldn’t forget to take them.

Over the Counter

There are several topical gels and creams that encourage blood flow to the genitals. The active ingredient is usually L-arginine or niacin, both of which cause a warming, sensitizing sensation that can be too much for some women. Be careful when trying these, and have a cool washcloth or a wipe handy in case you need to take it off in a hurry. Also, check the labels to make sure the brand you’re trying is condom-safe, if necessary.

Aromatherapy

The Scentuelle patch is a “nontransdermal” stick-on that releases subtle, sexy scent molecules through nanotechnology. You wear it and take frequent whiffs throughout the day and make your partner a very happy camper throughout the night. (Or vice versa. It’s not confined to the clock.)

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

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