How to Evaluate a Chat Room in Ten Minutes or Less

It only takes a few minutes to assess a new chat community to see if its worth sticking around. These tips work whether the community is text-only, webcam, or 3D.

Leave If...

• Half or more of the posts are URLs or read like spam subject lines
• People are calling each other names
• Nobody says anything for several minutes
• You get a number of private messages but no one is talking in the public room
• When you say “Hello, how is everyone today?” you get no responses

Stay if...

• People greet you and welcome you
• When you start talking, people talk back
• At least one good conversation is taking place
• People seem to know each other
• Other women seem to be having a good time

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:


• How to Talk to Your Lover About Porn
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Consumer teledildonics update: HighJoy alive, Sinulator dead; plus, Virtual Sex Machine and RealTouch

I have not been able to get a response from Sinulator folks by email or by phone, and have received a few emails in the past few months from other people who have experienced the same thing. Sinulator was a growing thing when I wrote The Sexual Revolution 2.0 but you know how it is with those tech start-ups, particularly SEX tech start-ups.

HighJoy is still around, however. I corresponded with them this week (had to resolve a billing issue, which they took care of promptly and courteously).

There’s also the Virtual Sex Machine if you don’t want the bother of finding an online partner first.

RealTouch appears to be going strong, but then, Sinulator hasn’t taken its website down either, so I’ll drop them an email and see what’s up. Like the Virtual Sex Machine, this one interacts with videos, not with humans on the other end of the internet.

Anyone else who has some teledildonics stuff going, please give us an update and a link in the comments. My focus has been on consumer-friendly stuff that doesn’t require a whole lot of tech-savvy to figure out, but I know there’s a lot more geekdildonics out there than n00bdildonics….

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

• How to Talk to Your Lover About Porn

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How to Turn Your Mp3 Player into a Personal Pleasure Device

Remember the joy of the mix tape, crafted especially for you by that special someone? Here’s a variation on that theme for adults only. These There are vibrators that pulse, rev, and throb to the beat of audio sources, ranging from a music playlist to your lover’s voice right there in bed.

For a group experience, try plugging one into your computer headphone jack and meeting up in a chat room or a virtual world where you can all groove to the same audio stream.

These toys are available at most reputable adult retailers, or you can Google (or Froogle) them to find the best deals.

Remember the joy of the mix tape, crafted especially for you by that special someone? Here’s a variation on that theme for adults only. There are vibrators that pulse, rev, and throb to the beat of audio sources, ranging from a music playlist to your lover’s voice right there in bed.

For a group experience, try plugging one into your computer headphone jack and meeting up in a chat room or a virtual world where you can all groove to the same audio stream.

These toys are available at most reputable adult retailers, or you can Google them to find the best deals.

iBuzz Two

Comes with two small vibrators to put inside a bunny-shaped  sleeve for her and a cock ring for him — —and all the necessary connecting cables, including a headphone splitter so you can both listen to the same music while you wear your toys.

OhMiBod

A slim, insertable vibrator in colors to complement the iPod and iPhone, although any device with a headphone jack will drive it. Comes in a pretty zippered pouch for tucking discreetly into your purse, and has ““penis sleeve”” accessories to create different textures and looks out apart from of the basic cylinder. Visit Club Vibe at www.ohmibod.com for a playlist exchange among OhMiBod users and special playlists created by professional DJs, all mixed specifically for their vibratory delights.

Talk2Me

This beautifully sculpted dual-purpose toy splits the incoming audio into two streams; the vibrating shaft responds to the bass, while the tickler responds to the treble. You can hook it up to a headphone jack or set its wireless receiver in front of any source of sound — —your lips, your stereo, your motorcycle — —and get your groove on.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

• How to Talk to Your Lover About Porn
• How to Build a Sex Tech Collection Your Friends Will Envy

How to Delete Your Ex

When modern relationships end they leave behind more artifacts then a Pharaoh’s tomb. Email, instant messages, text messages, voice mails, digital pictures and video – and that’s just the personal stuff. What about blog post? Social networks? That tandem skydiving video you posted on YouTube?

You can’t do much about artifacts that have already gone public, but you can reduce your chance of stumbling upon a memento unprepared:

• Block every handle your ex gave you and remove them from your buddy list.

• Set your IM client to accept messages from only people already on your buddy list.

• Remove your ex from your contact list so you don’t make yourself crazy monitoring his or her online habits.

• Destroy all emails from and to. Don’t forget to search for your exes address in the “cc” and “bcc” fields as well as the “to” field.

• Check My Pictures, My Documents and your attachments folder for images to send to the trash.

• Delete your ex’s email from your address book, including from list of multiple recipients. Don’t forget to check your mobile devices too.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:


• How to Talk to Your Lover About Porn
• How to Build a Sex Tech Collection Your Friends Will Envy

How to Be a Voyeur (without Being a Creep)

You won’t need a trench coat and binoculars for this lesson, unless dressing up like a peeping Tom turns you on—in which case, I’m all for it.

One of the best ways to find out whether something turns you on is to watch other people do it and see how you feel. The Internet has given women the same opportunities to “just look” that men have had for centuries. Now that we know what’s out there, we’re taking great strides in improving it.

Visit any adult webcam room, and you quickly realize that the exhibitionists in the group need the voyeurs in order to fulfill their fantasies and get the most out of their experience. Just lurking, without a cam of your own, is enough to feed the performers’ need for an audience. Your presence fuels their fire, and their uninhibited sexuality can turn you on—and might even inspire you to try something new or exotic with your partner.
Try chatting with the webcam performer on things not related directly to sex. Unlike DVD performers, these sex workers are not typically professional talent. They’re more approachable as regular people. Ask about their day, or the clothes they’ve chosen, or their love lives. You’ll be surprised to find that webcam folks are just like the neighbors.
And if it turns out they are the neighbors? Now you know you have something in common.

Online Voyeurism Can:

• Help you learn new sexual skills

• Put your own desires into context (you’re not alone!)

• Turn you on

• Bring you closer to your partner

• Validate your fantasies

• Reduce your anxiety

• Confirm your disinterest

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to (Politely) Reject Offers for Cybersex

It’s bound to happen. If you’re visiting an adults-only community online—and especially if it’s a coed area and you sound female—chances are you will be propositioned for cybersex.

I’ve heard women complain about how often they get propositioned in virtual spaces, whether it’s a 3D world or a text chat room. But I compare it to wearing a pretty dress and high heels. If you’ve obviously done yourself up all nice, people are going to compliment you on it. Likewise, if you’re in a space that is designed to facilitate sex, you have to expect that people will ask you about sex.

You are under no obligation to say yes. You cannot be physically threatened or coerced into sexual activity, and you have a Block or Ignore command if the person disregards your polite rejection and begins to pester you.

Online, a polite rejection is more than just good manners. It keeps the vibe pleasant for everyone within text-shot, it keeps you from getting wound up in arguments instead of flirting and playing, and it shows other interested parties the type of approach that doesn’t work for you.
Suggestions:

• “I appreciate your invitation, although I must decline it.”

• “No thank you! But good luck finding what you seek.”

• “Thank you. Maybe another time?” (Caution: Use this only if you are interested in talking with the person in the future.)

• “No thanks. I am just here to chat tonight.”

• “Thanks hon, I’m waiting for my date tho. Good luck!”

When you are consistently respectful and polite, you earn respect and develop relationships that offer far more beneficial than the momentary satisfaction of verbally smacking the rude or clueless.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to Pick the Best Type of Lover

This one’s easy. Find a geek.

Here are 5 reasons geeks make the best lovers.

• Geeks build it so you will come

Second Life’s SexGen animation system, Red Light Center’s beautiful sex animations, and open-source teledildonics did not simply coalesce out of the mists during a marketing department meeting. These types of projects require strong technical know-how along with an open-minded approach to sexual variation. After all, you can’t build sex-tech that serves only your own preferences if you expect others to use it. Especially if you want them to buy it.  That geeks have the passion to commit their technical skills to expanding sexual options for everyone is evidence enough of their enthusiasm and dedication as lovers.

• Geeks interact.

Where a technophobe is able to talk to you in person, a geek is also happy to be with you by texting your phone, flirting with you in a chat room, Skyping you, Twittering just in case you’re on your vibrating couch, sending funny cell phone snapshots to your email, playing online games, commenting on your blog, digging up articles that interest you, seducing you by instant message.

• Geeks don’t shock easily.

Geeks have seen all the porn you can imagine and then some, priming them to be open to your sexual peccadillos. Geeks are not only less likely to be shocked by your exotic requests—they might not even realize that other people think your turn-ons are exotic. In fact, your geek lover might be relieved that your wildest fantasy involves only two other people, five utensils, and a trapeze.

• Geeks know kinky people.

Geeks haven’t just seen a variety of positions, kinks, and fetishes in blue movies. Geeks know (or are) people who enjoy those things, so they don’t dismiss entire categories of sexual interests as the sole province of a bunch of weirdos in San Francisco.
It’s hard to sustain prejudice and bias against an abstract group when you develop relationships with individuals and discover they’re just like you. It doesn’t matter if they dress up like ponies, or refuse to conform to a societal idea of gender norms, or eat pancakes for dinner. Geek lovers know better than to try to impose their sexual preferences or standards on others—including your friends—and are more likely to love and let love.

• Geeks understand multidimensional relationships.

Geeks connect with their online buddies in several guises, often getting to know the person behind the avatar as friendships deepen and move from adult communities to personal IM.
A geek can flow seamlessly between conversation about a friend’s partner and kids in one window and an elaborate group sex scene in another, without feeling any discontinuity between the personas—even if the friend is a forty-three-year-old father of two in IM but a twenty-two-year-old dominatrix in the group.
With all that going on, a geek has no problem accepting that sometimes you want mocha ripple cherry fudge chunk swirl with almonds and a waffle, and sometimes you want vanilla lite.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How To Have Cybersex

The old joke about typing one-handed doesn’t cover the half of it. Entire books have been written on this subject, and although many of the other lessons in this book touch on important aspects of cybersex, in this lesson, the focus is on the mechanics of it all.

• Play with language. I don’t care if you’re on webcam and have 3D avatars to boot—language is the foundation of cybersex, and language is the bridge between your minds, hearts, and bodies. Use words that shock and awaken; use imagery drawn from the erotic, the pornographic, and the innocuous. Weaving literary metaphor with raunchy sex talk keeps you both engaged.

• Don’t disappear halfway through. You wouldn’t in real life, and you shouldn’t in cybersex. If you think you will be interrupted, stick with flirting and save the cybersex for another day.

• Select a handle you can stand to read and hear on a regular basis in a sexual context. “HotMama” will serve you better than “JakesMom,” for example.

• Don’t be self-conscious or worried about your spelling or writing. As long as you say what you’re imagining, you’ll do fine.

• Learn the power of “Mmmm”—a cybersex essential. Use it when you can’t think of anything to say but it’s your turn to type, when your lover says something so arousing you need to stop typing for a moment but need to show you’re still there, and when the other is in the middle of writing an elaborate setup and needs a response but not help from you.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

• How to Laugh Your Way Through Technical Difficulties and Into Great Webcam Sex

• How to Take Sexy Self-Portraits
  

How to Get Your Lovers to Send You Hot Text Messages, Even If They Don’t Want to at First

It’s almost incomprehensible, but did you know that many people aren’t interested in hot texting?

Shocking, I know.

But if you are at all word oriented, your lover needs to make an effort to connect with you in this way. No ifs, ands, or buts. It’s amazing, what those 160 characters can do. They can say “I’m thinking of you” or “I love you” or “I want to bury myself between your thighs and not come up until you’ve climaxed six times.” Sometimes all that in a single message.

These are some of the ways I’ve had success in teaching lovers to text me:

• Ask them to text you sometimes, and explain how much you appreciate their effort and thoughtfulness. Remind them it doesn’t have to be Nobel-winning poetry, just an honest note.

• Send them hot texts telling them what you want to do with them next time you see them, and then following through, so they make the connection between hot text—foreplay—lovemaking.

• Point out that song lyrics that have meaning for you make wonderful text messages.

• Show them a way they can text your phone from a web interface. Google and Yahoo both make applications that let you send a message to almost any phone, as do the phone companies and texting websites.Remind them that pictures are worth a thousand words, so even if a picture message costs more to send, it’s also worth 6.25 text messages.

• Short words work really well in text. Think of all the wonderful four-letter nouns and verbs the two of you can share. Unlike email, there’s no big blank page daring you to fill it up.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

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• How to Take Sex Self Portraits
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How to Be Bisexual on the Internet

If you’re already bisexual, you can skip this lesson. These tips are for those who are questions, experimenting, or exploring.

Many people who aren’t otherwise bisexual happily flirt and cyber with any gender online. After all, unless you plan to meet your partners in person for sex and you know you’re not interested in physical same- or hetero-sex (and are you sure about that?), why should it matter? The Internet offers a perfect, private place to experiment without much risk.

• It’s okay to explain that you are only bi online.

• The “woman” you are cybering with might be a man on the other side of the keyboard. So what? If you’re having fun, have fun. You’ll meet a nice girl some other time.

• Play with language and let your imagination roam. If you’re never made love with a woman before, you have a whole different topography to deal with now.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

Sexier Sex
by Regina Lynn

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