How to Reassure Your Man That Sex Toys Won’t Replace Him

More often than you’d think, men worry about being replaced by sex-oriented technology. They fear that their penises—which cannot vibrate or rotate and do not come with multiple attachments or clitoral stimulators in cute animal shapes—will no longer be enough after a woman gets her first ride on a jumbo-size rabbit pearl.

You will no more replace your man with toys than he will replace you with porn. Besides, those who prefer inanimate objects to human lovers aren’t good candidates for sexual relationships anyway.

Yet it’s important to treat his anxieties with respect. Think of how you would feel if he laughed or ignored your groundless worries.

  • Take him to a sex-positive store or website and look at toys together, reading the articles that tell you different ways to use them and focusing on devices intended for couples.
  • Use the toys with him so he can see how nonthreatening they are, and that they are just part of everyday sexuality. If he’s shy, tell him you will be in heaven if you can lie back and let him play you like a violin—and that you will return the favor next time.
  • Remind him that the more orgasms you have, the more orgasms you want. Using toys with yourself keeps you feeling sexual overall. As one of my friends puts it, “Having fries with my burger doesn’t make me not want a burger. It just makes me crave the meal again. And again. Are you busy right now?”

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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6 responses to “How to Reassure Your Man That Sex Toys Won’t Replace Him

  1. I’m a very oral man. But I’ve found after my partners have gotten used to a vibrator, she takes a lot longer to get off from my tongue, which means sometimes she’ll say we don’t have time for me to go down on her. And sometimes she’ll get frustrated because she’s not getting enough stimulation from my tongue. Both of these have led to less oral sex.

    So I haven’t been replaced — and I know my lovers have preferred me to their toys — but I have gotten a lot less of one of my favorite sex acts.

    • sexiersexlessons

      RJ, it seems she has missed the point. Perhaps she could make a plan of not using the vibrator for a few days and making an oral sex date with you. Scheduling sex time would also help with that “don’t have enough time” problem (or excuse).

  2. “You will no more replace your man with toys than he will replace you with porn. ”

    I LOVE THAT!!! Can I use that during my sex toy party demos? I will make sure to give you due credit!

    RJ, I understand what you’re saying. My boyfriend had masturbated so long with what he calls “The Grip of Death” that it makes it difficult (i.e. can’t remember the last time it happened) for him to cum during vaginal penetration. I think that if you want to work on it with your partner, you’d have to have the patience for it. Give her a toy that doesn’t vibrate as hard, different stimulation…or even use the toy at the same time as oral sex.

    I gave my boyfriend a masturbation sleeve, and he said that the different texture is making it easier for him to cum during intercourse. Takes time! But you can have fun with it 🙂

  3. Enjoyed reading it. Luckily I don’t have this problem with my guy, but I talked about this article in a post of mine. Just wanted to let you know.

    http://sexualbuzz.blogspot.com/2009/07/sex-toys-replacing-men.html

  4. hey thanks for the nice share 🙂

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