Category Archives: Improving Body Image

How to Be a Voyeur (without Being a Creep)

You won’t need a trench coat and binoculars for this lesson, unless dressing up like a peeping Tom turns you on—in which case, I’m all for it.

One of the best ways to find out whether something turns you on is to watch other people do it and see how you feel. The Internet has given women the same opportunities to “just look” that men have had for centuries. Now that we know what’s out there, we’re taking great strides in improving it.

Visit any adult webcam room, and you quickly realize that the exhibitionists in the group need the voyeurs in order to fulfill their fantasies and get the most out of their experience. Just lurking, without a cam of your own, is enough to feed the performers’ need for an audience. Your presence fuels their fire, and their uninhibited sexuality can turn you on—and might even inspire you to try something new or exotic with your partner.
Try chatting with the webcam performer on things not related directly to sex. Unlike DVD performers, these sex workers are not typically professional talent. They’re more approachable as regular people. Ask about their day, or the clothes they’ve chosen, or their love lives. You’ll be surprised to find that webcam folks are just like the neighbors.
And if it turns out they are the neighbors? Now you know you have something in common.

Online Voyeurism Can:

  • Help you learn new sexual skills
  • Put your own desires into context (you’re not alone!)
  • Turn you on
  • Bring you closer to your partner
  • Validate your fantasies
  • Reduce your anxiety
  • Confirm your disinterest

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to Buy Lingerie for Your Body Type

It seems like lingerie is designed for women who are 5’ 6”, wear a 34C bra, size 5 panties, and size 7 shoes—unless you are that woman and still have fit problems, in which case, I guess it’s designed for our avatars rather than our bodies.

Shopping for lingerie online eliminates a lot of the hassles. It might seem counter intuitive, as with fit troubles you want to be able to try it on. But when you shop online, you can quickly narrow your options to just the negligee that is likely to fit. You can try it on in your own bedroom with your own lighting and your own mirror, and if you hate it, send it back. (Yes, this can cost money, but you won’t begrudge it after you find something that makes you feel like a million bucks.)
And most likely, if you put the effort into the search, you won’t hate it.

  • Don’t rely on size chart measurements. Email or call the site with your measurements and notes about your proportions, how other brands and sizes fit you, and what you’re looking for
  • Look international. You pay a bit more in shipping, but it’s worth it if you get the right fit.
  • Stockings, stretchy chemises, and collars fit just about everyone. It doesn’t matter if the stockings won’t stay up if you’re just wearing them on nights in.
  • More coverage can be as sexy as less, especially in sheer fabrics. Lingerie is less about skin as it is about mystery. Especially as we get older
  • Forget the size noted on the label and look only for fit. I have lingerie that ranges from size M to size 2X, and it all fits me exactly the same.
  • If your proportions are impossible to fit off the rack, investigate custom services. There is nothing wrong with your body—only with the narrow range of fits available.
  • Corsets look fantastic on all body shapes and must be made custom to look perfect.

Intimate Shopping

Figleaves.com

Cups from A to JJ. Bands from 28 to 54. Need I say more?

StormyLeather.com

Leather clothing (and toys, noth ready to wear and couture.

Trashy.com

Beverly Hills institution, known for custom garments and costumes.

HipsandCurves.com

Lingerie that celebrates fill, voluptuous curves.

Bravissimo.com

Great selection of bras in D cup and up, plus clothing designed to fit and flatter busty figured.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How To Have Cybersex

The old joke about typing one-handed doesn’t cover the half of it. Entire books have been written on this subject, and although many of the other lessons in this book touch on important aspects of cybersex, in this lesson, the focus is on the mechanics of it all.

  • Play with language. I don’t care if you’re on webcam and have 3D avatars to boot—language is the foundation of cybersex, and language is the bridge between your minds, hearts, and bodies. Use words that shock and awaken; use imagery drawn from the erotic, the pornographic, and the innocuous. Weaving literary metaphor with raunchy sex talk keeps you both engaged.
  • Don’t disappear halfway through. You wouldn’t in real life, and you shouldn’t in cybersex. If you think you will be interrupted, stick with flirting and save the cybersex for another day.
  • Select a handle you can stand to read and hear on a regular basis in a sexual context. “HotMama” will serve you better than “JakesMom,” for example.
  • Don’t be self-conscious or worried about your spelling or writing. As long as you say what you’re imagining, you’ll do fine.
  • Learn the power of “Mmmm”—a cybersex essential. Use it when you can’t think of anything to say but it’s your turn to type, when your lover says something so arousing you need to stop typing for a moment but need to show you’re still there, and when the other is in the middle of writing an elaborate setup and needs a response but not help from you.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to Talk to Your Lover about Porn

Porn is now easier to find than bras that fit. This forces many women to face up to their feelings about their partner’s looking at adult content. Some women feel that their lovers will develop unrealistic expectations about female bodies or athletic ability after watching a lot of porn; others worry that the fantasy that pornography provides will replace the reality of everyday sex.

  • If your lover is a man, porn is probably going to be a part of his sex life. Porn and boys go together like girls and toys. Don’t let it scare you. Share it with him, at least to a certain extent. (Everyone needs a little private time sometimes too!)
  • You can learn about each other from the kinds of porn that turn you on—especially if you’re shy about revealing what you like, or if you feel tempted to share video that you think you should like but that doesn’t actually do much for you.
  • Keep your mind open. It’s not nice to yuk someone’s yum. Sex is a very personal thing—and you might be surprised at what turns you or your lover on. Remember that watching it isn’t the same as doing it. Even if you lover is into porn themes that turn your stomach, you aren’t necessarily expected to act it out, nor are you under any obligation to do so.

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How to Take Sexy Self-Portraits

Cameras are everywhere. Sooner or later, you’re going to be caught in a compromising position. Picking your nose as you run a red light. Adjusting your stockings as Google’s street-view team cruises by. Handing your phone around the table in a mutual-gadget-admiration moment with a dozen coworkers, only to realize you haven’t deleted Those Pictures from the album. (That one actually happened to me. Sigh.)

A cell phone camera is all you need to get started, although a small digital camera gives you higher quality images. These first shots aren’t for sharing, but rather for learning what the digital eye does to you, and for you, from various distances and angles.

  • Look to classic pin-up poses for inspiration. These flatter every body and have an element of tease and sauce that never goes out of style.
  • If you discover a touch of exhibitionism through your experiments, invest in a mobile device with a high-resolution camera and a self-timer.
  • Hold the camera above your face and slightly to the side to emphasize your eyes and cheekbones.
  • Learn to smile without clenching your facial muscles. It feels horribly fake at first, but works well in pictures. Better yet, cultivate a knowing, subtle quirk of the lip that implies you are just seconds from ripping your clothes off and jumping on your lover.
  • Flushed cheeks, wide eyes and parted lips are signs of sexual arousal in both sexes. You can fake it by pinching your skin, biting your lips and opening your eyes slightly wider than usual. Too wide and you’ll just look surprised or alien, so practice in a mirror until you get the right feel of it.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

How to Improve Your Body Image

Playing on the Internet can help you become more comfortable in your own skin long after you log off. That same wit and sensuality you radiate online still lives within you the rest of the time; the more you practice letting it out, the more natural it becomes.

selfimagephotoforsexiersex

Body confidence is sexy and infuses every dimension of our lives, not just sex.

  • Unless all porn truly offends you, surf amateur  porn to see the wide range of bodies engages in sex. Sex often looks ridiculous, but bodies in lusty pursuits are also rather beautiful, especially when you can see the erotic emotional connection among the participants.
  • Set up your webcam and practice posing until you find a few positions and angles that please you. This is like those body-image exercises performed in front of a mirror, except the tiny frame and the semi-grainy quality of the picture create and entirely different experience, as does the knowledge that once you do start seeing you body in terms of the beauty of its lights and shadows, you can share it with other people with a few clicks. (see “How to Look Great on Web-cam,” page 111)

  • Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn