Category Archives: Sex Toys

How to Take Your First Step into BDSM

I don’t know if it’s just me, but BDSM seems to be everywhere these days. (Yay!) BDSM stands for Bondage and discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS) Sadism and Masochism (SM), and it sums up a wide spectrum of activity, from gentle bondage through eroticized (and consensual) torture.

It makes sense that BDSM is so popular online. For one thing, many people start with fantasy long before they venture into acting it out, and the interactive enviroment lets you engage with another person and see how you like it without literally being flogged or punished.

Another thing is that BDSM is very theatrical, very visual. It gives erotic designers an opportunity to challenge their skills, building sets and implements and costumes and environments in 3D worlds for themselves and for others.

Learning The Ropes

One friend of mine got his first-aid certification as part of his journey into more extreme BDSM practices. Another took two workshops in rope bondage before trying it on his partner in a private setting. Please invest the time and research into learning to play safely. Not every escort or partner in an online community knows what they’re doing. but when you take it into physical space you can actually place yourself in physical danger if you don’t know what you’re doing. There are places on the body it is dangerous to flog, there are dangerous ways to bind people, and there are chanced for accidents, like starting fires or causing internal injury. Playing it safe (heh) is fun, will enhance your experience, and could save your life.

To do BDSM right, you need to follow some basic safety guidelines; these not only pertain to your physical health, but to your emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being as well.

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Consumer teledildonics update: HighJoy alive, Sinulator dead; plus, Virtual Sex Machine and RealTouch

I have not been able to get a response from Sinulator folks by email or by phone, and have received a few emails in the past few months from other people who have experienced the same thing. Sinulator was a growing thing when I wrote The Sexual Revolution 2.0 but you know how it is with those tech start-ups, particularly SEX tech start-ups.

HighJoy is still around, however. I corresponded with them this week (had to resolve a billing issue, which they took care of promptly and courteously).

highjoy

There’s also the Virtual Sex Machine if you don’t want the bother of finding an online partner first.

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RealTouch appears to be going strong, but then, Sinulator hasn’t taken its website down either, so I’ll drop them an email and see what’s up. Like the Virtual Sex Machine, this one interacts with videos, not with humans on the other end of the internet.

Anyone else who has some teledildonics stuff going, please give us an update and a link in the comments. My focus has been on consumer-friendly stuff that doesn’t require a whole lot of tech-savvy to figure out, but I know there’s a lot more geekdildonics out there than n00bdildonics….

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

How to Turn Your Mp3 Player into a Personal Pleasure Device

Remember the joy of the mix tape, crafted especially for you by that special someone? Here’s a variation on that theme for adults only. These There are vibrators that pulse, rev, and throb to the beat of audio sources, ranging from a music playlist to your lover’s voice right there in bed.
For a group experience, try plugging one into your computer headphone jack and meeting up in a chat room or a virtual world where you can all groove to the same audio stream.
These toys are available at most reputable adult retailers, or you can Google (or Froogle) them to find the best deals.
Remember the joy of the mix tape, crafted especially for you by that special someone? Here’s a variation on that theme for adults only. There are vibrators that pulse, rev, and throb to the beat of audio sources, ranging from a music playlist to your lover’s voice right there in bed.

For a group experience, try plugging one into your computer headphone jack and meeting up in a chat room or a virtual world where you can all groove to the same audio stream.
These toys are available at most reputable adult retailers, or you can Google them to find the best deals.
iBuzz Two
Comes with two small vibrators to put inside a bunny-shaped  sleeve for her and a cock ring for him — —and all the necessary connecting cables, including a headphone splitter so you can both listen to the same music while you wear your toys.
OhMiBod
A slim, insertable vibrator in colors to complement the iPod and iPhone, although any device with a headphone jack will drive it. Comes in a pretty zippered pouch for tucking discreetly into your purse, and has ““penis sleeve”” accessories to create different textures and looks out apart from of the basic cylinder. Visit Club Vibe at http://www.ohmibod.com for a playlist exchange among OhMiBod users and special playlists created by professional DJs, all mixed specifically for their vibratory delights.
Talk2Me
This beautifully sculpted dual-purpose toy splits the incoming audio into two streams; the vibrating shaft responds to the bass, while the tickler responds to the treble. You can hook it up to a headphone jack or set its wireless receiver in front of any source of sound — —your lips, your stereo, your motorcycle — —and get your groove on.

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How to Reassure Your Man That Sex Toys Won’t Replace Him

More often than you’d think, men worry about being replaced by sex-oriented technology. They fear that their penises—which cannot vibrate or rotate and do not come with multiple attachments or clitoral stimulators in cute animal shapes—will no longer be enough after a woman gets her first ride on a jumbo-size rabbit pearl.

You will no more replace your man with toys than he will replace you with porn. Besides, those who prefer inanimate objects to human lovers aren’t good candidates for sexual relationships anyway.

Yet it’s important to treat his anxieties with respect. Think of how you would feel if he laughed or ignored your groundless worries.

  • Take him to a sex-positive store or website and look at toys together, reading the articles that tell you different ways to use them and focusing on devices intended for couples.
  • Use the toys with him so he can see how nonthreatening they are, and that they are just part of everyday sexuality. If he’s shy, tell him you will be in heaven if you can lie back and let him play you like a violin—and that you will return the favor next time.
  • Remind him that the more orgasms you have, the more orgasms you want. Using toys with yourself keeps you feeling sexual overall. As one of my friends puts it, “Having fries with my burger doesn’t make me not want a burger. It just makes me crave the meal again. And again. Are you busy right now?”

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How to Find Out Whether You Are Kinky

One thing we’ve learned from each other in the Information Age is that kinky is as kinky does. What we used to think was only us—in delight or in shame—we now find is not unique at all.

As “kinky” comes to mean any form of sex beyond the most vanilla*, it’s not so much a matter of finding out whether you are kinky as finding out how kinky you are. Kink does not mean you have a fetish or an obsession, only that a particular flavor of sex—involving props, theater, groups of people, public places, etc.—can pretty much be relied upon to get you excited.

You can expand your knowledge of your own kinks online in a few ways:

  • When stumbling across a kink in porn, you realize you’re turned on. Now, go find more porn featuring that quirk and discover whether it affects you consistently.
  • Research a particular kink from your own fantasies—from something you’ve experienced once or twice and liked, or from books or movies that introduced you to that whole new world.
  • Visit a webcam room that caters to a particular kink or fetish, like latex, balloons, leather, or BDSM.
  • Read or listen to erotica that you wouldn’t normally choose and see if it arouses you.
  • Many adult retailers offer classes in the basics and post their workshop calendars online. Because some kink can hurt you if you do it wrong—for example, there are safe and unsafe ways to bind somebody—it’s always better to get information from an expert first.

Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

How to Build A Sex Tech Collection Your Friends Will Envy

When shopping for toys, it’s always good to talk with a staffer at a sex-positive boutique that has an extensive education program, as they can help guide you to products that fit your preferences.
However.
If you’re already pretty sure that you’ve got everything you need and are now cruising for something you want, here are some of the items that have captured my interest in the past few years.

  • Best Oral Sex Simulator

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Je Joue

  • Best Totally Silent Cybersex Chair

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Monkey Rocker

  • Best Introductory Couples Toy

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Vibrating Cock Ring

  • Best Accessory That Doubles As a Reading Pillow

prodshapeswedge_leopard2

Liberator Wedge

  • Best Dildos for the Living Room Display Shelf

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Atraw Ceramics

  • Best Everyday Workhorse

eroscillatortopdeluxe

Eroscillator

  • Best Shower-Friendly Toy

lynxsb

Elemental Pleasures

  • Best Economy Model Vibe That Still Looks Lovely

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Natural Contours

  • Best Toy That Doubles As a Hat Rack

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The Fantasy Glide

  • Best Blowjob Accessory

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Nexus Glide


  • Best Quickie

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Hitachi Magic Wand w/G Spot attachment


  • Best Way to Surprise the Person Emptying the Dishwasher

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NJoy Stainless Steel Butt Plug

  • Best Toy That Hides in Plain Sight

duckie

I Rub My Duckie

  • Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

How to Justify the Expense of Luxury Sex Toys and Why

In the past couple of years, high-end sex toys have taken the adult novelty market by storm. With expensive materials, quality manufacturing, and beautiful aesthetics in both design and packaging, these swanky products put the $20 plastic battery vibes to shame.

You wouldn’t skimp on a washing machine or a blender, now would you? Or how about that flat panel TV?

If you’re still not sure, consider this:

  • Orgasms relieve stress, increase circulation, improve your skin, and make you feel closer to your lover.
  • High end sex toys last longer and feel better then their cheaper cousins.
  • A toy that is beautiful inspires you to use it, and doesn’t break the mood when you bring it into partner play.
  • Giving your body pleasure teaches you how to give and accept even more pleasure with a lover.
    • Find the rest of this lesson and thousands more sexier sex tips in:

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    Sexier Sex

    by Regina Lynn