Tag Archives: seduction

How to Boost Your Libido

The hamster wheel of modern life diminishes our sex drives every bit as much as illness, chronic pain, or hormonal fluctuations. We don’t always have time to eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep—even though we know all of those things improve our sex lives. Many of us feel like we’re barely holding up under the combination of work, kids, and chores. Add one or more medications, alcohol use, depression, anxiety, body image issues—sometimes it’s a wonder we have sex drives at all.

It’s nice that we have some options for those times when our libidos shoot through the basement and we admit to ourselves we’d rather nap or read than even think about touching ourselves or a partner. However, our minds know that sex is important, even when our bodies seem to have forgotten.

I am not a doctor or a health practitioner, and I’m sensitive to side effects to boot, so please don’t interpret this lesson as medical advice by any stretch of the imagination. I’m also wary of the topical agents that increase blood flow to the genitals, as that seems like a recipe for intimate irritation, and patches annoy my skin; my body is more comfortable with prescription-based helpers like testosterone pills. But the following will give you an idea of what’s out there so you can feel better informed when you talk to your doc about what might work best for your particular body and situation.

Prescription

Testosterone can be delivered by a daily pill or skin patch. I used the pills and kept them next to my birth control pills so I wouldn’t forget to take them.

Over the Counter

There are several topical gels and creams that encourage blood flow to the genitals. The active ingredient is usually L-arginine or niacin, both of which cause a warming, sensitizing sensation that can be too much for some women. Be careful when trying these, and have a cool washcloth or a wipe handy in case you need to take it off in a hurry. Also, check the labels to make sure the brand you’re trying is condom-safe, if necessary.

Aromatherapy

The Scentuelle patch is a “nontransdermal” stick-on that releases subtle, sexy scent molecules through nanotechnology. You wear it and take frequent whiffs throughout the day and make your partner a very happy camper throughout the night. (Or vice versa. It’s not confined to the clock.)

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to Buy Lingerie for Your Body Type

It seems like lingerie is designed for women who are 5’ 6”, wear a 34C bra, size 5 panties, and size 7 shoes—unless you are that woman and still have fit problems, in which case, I guess it’s designed for our avatars rather than our bodies.

Shopping for lingerie online eliminates a lot of the hassles. It might seem counter intuitive, as with fit troubles you want to be able to try it on. But when you shop online, you can quickly narrow your options to just the negligee that is likely to fit. You can try it on in your own bedroom with your own lighting and your own mirror, and if you hate it, send it back. (Yes, this can cost money, but you won’t begrudge it after you find something that makes you feel like a million bucks.)
And most likely, if you put the effort into the search, you won’t hate it.

  • Don’t rely on size chart measurements. Email or call the site with your measurements and notes about your proportions, how other brands and sizes fit you, and what you’re looking for
  • Look international. You pay a bit more in shipping, but it’s worth it if you get the right fit.
  • Stockings, stretchy chemises, and collars fit just about everyone. It doesn’t matter if the stockings won’t stay up if you’re just wearing them on nights in.
  • More coverage can be as sexy as less, especially in sheer fabrics. Lingerie is less about skin as it is about mystery. Especially as we get older
  • Forget the size noted on the label and look only for fit. I have lingerie that ranges from size M to size 2X, and it all fits me exactly the same.
  • If your proportions are impossible to fit off the rack, investigate custom services. There is nothing wrong with your body—only with the narrow range of fits available.
  • Corsets look fantastic on all body shapes and must be made custom to look perfect.

Intimate Shopping

Figleaves.com

Cups from A to JJ. Bands from 28 to 54. Need I say more?

StormyLeather.com

Leather clothing (and toys, noth ready to wear and couture.

Trashy.com

Beverly Hills institution, known for custom garments and costumes.

HipsandCurves.com

Lingerie that celebrates fill, voluptuous curves.

Bravissimo.com

Great selection of bras in D cup and up, plus clothing designed to fit and flatter busty figured.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How To Have Cybersex

The old joke about typing one-handed doesn’t cover the half of it. Entire books have been written on this subject, and although many of the other lessons in this book touch on important aspects of cybersex, in this lesson, the focus is on the mechanics of it all.

  • Play with language. I don’t care if you’re on webcam and have 3D avatars to boot—language is the foundation of cybersex, and language is the bridge between your minds, hearts, and bodies. Use words that shock and awaken; use imagery drawn from the erotic, the pornographic, and the innocuous. Weaving literary metaphor with raunchy sex talk keeps you both engaged.
  • Don’t disappear halfway through. You wouldn’t in real life, and you shouldn’t in cybersex. If you think you will be interrupted, stick with flirting and save the cybersex for another day.
  • Select a handle you can stand to read and hear on a regular basis in a sexual context. “HotMama” will serve you better than “JakesMom,” for example.
  • Don’t be self-conscious or worried about your spelling or writing. As long as you say what you’re imagining, you’ll do fine.
  • Learn the power of “Mmmm”—a cybersex essential. Use it when you can’t think of anything to say but it’s your turn to type, when your lover says something so arousing you need to stop typing for a moment but need to show you’re still there, and when the other is in the middle of writing an elaborate setup and needs a response but not help from you.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to Find Out Whether You Are Kinky

One thing we’ve learned from each other in the Information Age is that kinky is as kinky does. What we used to think was only us—in delight or in shame—we now find is not unique at all.

As “kinky” comes to mean any form of sex beyond the most vanilla*, it’s not so much a matter of finding out whether you are kinky as finding out how kinky you are. Kink does not mean you have a fetish or an obsession, only that a particular flavor of sex—involving props, theater, groups of people, public places, etc.—can pretty much be relied upon to get you excited.

You can expand your knowledge of your own kinks online in a few ways:

  • When stumbling across a kink in porn, you realize you’re turned on. Now, go find more porn featuring that quirk and discover whether it affects you consistently.
  • Research a particular kink from your own fantasies—from something you’ve experienced once or twice and liked, or from books or movies that introduced you to that whole new world.
  • Visit a webcam room that caters to a particular kink or fetish, like latex, balloons, leather, or BDSM.
  • Read or listen to erotica that you wouldn’t normally choose and see if it arouses you.
  • Many adult retailers offer classes in the basics and post their workshop calendars online. Because some kink can hurt you if you do it wrong—for example, there are safe and unsafe ways to bind somebody—it’s always better to get information from an expert first.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to Get Your Lovers to Send You Hot Text Messages, Even If They Don’t Want to at First

It’s almost incomprehensible, but did you know that many people aren’t interested in hot texting?

Shocking, I know.

But if you are at all word oriented, your lover needs to make an effort to connect with you in this way. No ifs, ands, or buts. It’s amazing, what those 160 characters can do. They can say “I’m thinking of you” or “I love you” or “I want to bury myself between your thighs and not come up until you’ve climaxed six times.” Sometimes all that in a single message.

These are some of the ways I’ve had success in teaching lovers to text me:

  • Ask them to text you sometimes, and explain how much you appreciate their effort and thoughtfulness. Remind them it doesn’t have to be Nobel-winning poetry, just an honest note.
  • Send them hot texts telling them what you want to do with them next time you see them, and then following through, so they make the connection between hot text—foreplay—lovemaking.
  • Point out that song lyrics that have meaning for you make wonderful text messages.
  • Show them a way they can text your phone from a web interface. Google and Yahoo both make applications that let you send a message to almost any phone, as do the phone companies and texting websites.Remind them that pictures are worth a thousand words, so even if a picture message costs more to send, it’s also worth 6.25 text messages.
  • Short words work really well in text. Think of all the wonderful four-letter nouns and verbs the two of you can share. Unlike email, there’s no big blank page daring you to fill it up.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to Take Sexy Self-Portraits

Cameras are everywhere. Sooner or later, you’re going to be caught in a compromising position. Picking your nose as you run a red light. Adjusting your stockings as Google’s street-view team cruises by. Handing your phone around the table in a mutual-gadget-admiration moment with a dozen coworkers, only to realize you haven’t deleted Those Pictures from the album. (That one actually happened to me. Sigh.)

A cell phone camera is all you need to get started, although a small digital camera gives you higher quality images. These first shots aren’t for sharing, but rather for learning what the digital eye does to you, and for you, from various distances and angles.

  • Look to classic pin-up poses for inspiration. These flatter every body and have an element of tease and sauce that never goes out of style.
  • If you discover a touch of exhibitionism through your experiments, invest in a mobile device with a high-resolution camera and a self-timer.
  • Hold the camera above your face and slightly to the side to emphasize your eyes and cheekbones.
  • Learn to smile without clenching your facial muscles. It feels horribly fake at first, but works well in pictures. Better yet, cultivate a knowing, subtle quirk of the lip that implies you are just seconds from ripping your clothes off and jumping on your lover.
  • Flushed cheeks, wide eyes and parted lips are signs of sexual arousal in both sexes. You can fake it by pinching your skin, biting your lips and opening your eyes slightly wider than usual. Too wide and you’ll just look surprised or alien, so practice in a mirror until you get the right feel of it.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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How to Be Bisexual on the Internet

If you’re already bisexual, you can skip this lesson. These tips are for those who are questions, experimenting, or exploring.

cybersex

Many people who aren’t otherwise bisexual happily flirt and cyber with any gender online. After all, unless you plan to meet your partners in person for sex and you know you’re not interested in physical same- or hetero-sex (and are you sure about that?), why should it matter? The Internet offers a perfect, private place to experiment without much risk.

  • It’s okay to explain that you are only bi online.
  • The “woman” you are cybering with might be a man on the other side of the keyboard. So what? If you’re having fun, have fun. You’ll meet a nice girl some other time.
  • Play with language and let your imagination roam. If you’re never made love with a woman before, you have a whole different topography to deal with now.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

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