Tag Archives: Technology

How to Evaluate a Chat Room in Ten Minutes or Less

It only takes a few minutes to assess a new chat community to see if its worth sticking around. These tips work whether the community is text-only, webcam, or 3D.

Leave If...

  • Half or more of the posts are URLs or read like spam subject lines
  • People are calling each other names
  • Nobody says anything for several minutes
  • You get a number of private messages but no one is talking in the public room
  • When you say “Hello, how is everyone today?” you get no responses

Stay if...

  • People greet you and welcome you
  • When you start talking, people talk back
  • At least one good conversation is taking place
  • People seem to know each other
  • Other women seem to be having a good time

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Consumer teledildonics update: HighJoy alive, Sinulator dead; plus, Virtual Sex Machine and RealTouch

I have not been able to get a response from Sinulator folks by email or by phone, and have received a few emails in the past few months from other people who have experienced the same thing. Sinulator was a growing thing when I wrote The Sexual Revolution 2.0 but you know how it is with those tech start-ups, particularly SEX tech start-ups.

HighJoy is still around, however. I corresponded with them this week (had to resolve a billing issue, which they took care of promptly and courteously).

highjoy

There’s also the Virtual Sex Machine if you don’t want the bother of finding an online partner first.

vsm

RealTouch appears to be going strong, but then, Sinulator hasn’t taken its website down either, so I’ll drop them an email and see what’s up. Like the Virtual Sex Machine, this one interacts with videos, not with humans on the other end of the internet.

Anyone else who has some teledildonics stuff going, please give us an update and a link in the comments. My focus has been on consumer-friendly stuff that doesn’t require a whole lot of tech-savvy to figure out, but I know there’s a lot more geekdildonics out there than n00bdildonics….

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

How to Turn Your Mp3 Player into a Personal Pleasure Device

Remember the joy of the mix tape, crafted especially for you by that special someone? Here’s a variation on that theme for adults only. These There are vibrators that pulse, rev, and throb to the beat of audio sources, ranging from a music playlist to your lover’s voice right there in bed.
For a group experience, try plugging one into your computer headphone jack and meeting up in a chat room or a virtual world where you can all groove to the same audio stream.
These toys are available at most reputable adult retailers, or you can Google (or Froogle) them to find the best deals.
Remember the joy of the mix tape, crafted especially for you by that special someone? Here’s a variation on that theme for adults only. There are vibrators that pulse, rev, and throb to the beat of audio sources, ranging from a music playlist to your lover’s voice right there in bed.

For a group experience, try plugging one into your computer headphone jack and meeting up in a chat room or a virtual world where you can all groove to the same audio stream.
These toys are available at most reputable adult retailers, or you can Google them to find the best deals.
iBuzz Two
Comes with two small vibrators to put inside a bunny-shaped  sleeve for her and a cock ring for him — —and all the necessary connecting cables, including a headphone splitter so you can both listen to the same music while you wear your toys.
OhMiBod
A slim, insertable vibrator in colors to complement the iPod and iPhone, although any device with a headphone jack will drive it. Comes in a pretty zippered pouch for tucking discreetly into your purse, and has ““penis sleeve”” accessories to create different textures and looks out apart from of the basic cylinder. Visit Club Vibe at http://www.ohmibod.com for a playlist exchange among OhMiBod users and special playlists created by professional DJs, all mixed specifically for their vibratory delights.
Talk2Me
This beautifully sculpted dual-purpose toy splits the incoming audio into two streams; the vibrating shaft responds to the bass, while the tickler responds to the treble. You can hook it up to a headphone jack or set its wireless receiver in front of any source of sound — —your lips, your stereo, your motorcycle — —and get your groove on.

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How To Craft a Personal Ad That Truly Expresses Who You Are

Most people surf through tens if not hundreds of profiles every time they search a dating site. If you sound like everyone else, you are going to be treated like everyone else.


Stop the boredom!
There are tons of articles about writing the perfect profile on sites like Yahoo Personals, Match.com, and Cupid.com, —and each one is slanted toward the profiles of the particular dating service. Online dating expert Evan Mark Katz offers advice and sample profile makeovers in his e-newsletter. Many, many books exist on the subject if you want to get obsessive about it.
However, these ten tips should get you started down the right path:

  • Know your audience, and speak to them. Search for the profiles of your target audience, and match your language to theirs. The subtle mimicking of words and ideas will attract the people who think the way you like.
  • Understand the site you are using. For example, in adult dating networks like AdultFriendFinder.com, you can get explicitly sexual and kinky in your text (although not as much so in your photos) without violating the tTerms of sService. At Match.com, however, you’ll find a more general audience, some of whom are likely to flag you for “offensive material” if you get too raunchy, ensuring that your profile never gets found. (Know thy screeners, as well as thy audience!
  • Show, don’t tell. Use your photos to paint the picture of a dog-loving, REI-shopping, adventurous world traveler. Instead of just putting in the stock head shots, post the picture of you standing on the Great Wall of China with your friends, or rolling in the mud with your Great great Dane. But don’t PhotoShop yourself onto a backdrop. One day, someone will ask you about that trip, and making up a good story can be tricky, especially if you’ve attracted a true world traveler with your pictures.
  • Stop with the clichés! Who cares if you are “fun- loving,” “funny” and “physically fit?” Blah. Everyone says that. Try instead…”: “My trainer has become one of my best friends—not only do we work out together 3x a week, but we visit the Saxon Pub at least once a month to see our favorite local guitarist hit some new riffs.” See… . . . fun and fit in the same sentence.
  • Be funny instead of saying you are funny. Yes, we know that men don’t tend to list “sense of humor” as high on their must-have lists as women do, but if you can elicit a laugh, you might catch the attention of someone who shares your quirky outlook on life. Most people will contact someone a person who  they feel a connection with, or a person who makes them feel happy. This may not apply to the brooding artists of the world, but then again, your dark- side- of- the- moon commentary might just attract the neighbor who secretly listens to you practicing your guitar on the back step at night. You just never know.
  • Yes, sex sells… . . . but again, know your audience. If you really are trying to find a quality connection, leave the sex for later. Otherwise,  you’re likely to be overwhelmed with come-ons from men you have no interest in, and you could miss a good one in the flood.  \When you meet – —ya either got it or ya don’t. Leave it under wraps till until you actually want to act on it. If you are on a site where hookups are the primary focus, then sex away, and revel in the power of free speech.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

How to Be a Voyeur (without Being a Creep)

You won’t need a trench coat and binoculars for this lesson, unless dressing up like a peeping Tom turns you on—in which case, I’m all for it.

One of the best ways to find out whether something turns you on is to watch other people do it and see how you feel. The Internet has given women the same opportunities to “just look” that men have had for centuries. Now that we know what’s out there, we’re taking great strides in improving it.

Visit any adult webcam room, and you quickly realize that the exhibitionists in the group need the voyeurs in order to fulfill their fantasies and get the most out of their experience. Just lurking, without a cam of your own, is enough to feed the performers’ need for an audience. Your presence fuels their fire, and their uninhibited sexuality can turn you on—and might even inspire you to try something new or exotic with your partner.
Try chatting with the webcam performer on things not related directly to sex. Unlike DVD performers, these sex workers are not typically professional talent. They’re more approachable as regular people. Ask about their day, or the clothes they’ve chosen, or their love lives. You’ll be surprised to find that webcam folks are just like the neighbors.
And if it turns out they are the neighbors? Now you know you have something in common.

Online Voyeurism Can:

  • Help you learn new sexual skills
  • Put your own desires into context (you’re not alone!)
  • Turn you on
  • Bring you closer to your partner
  • Validate your fantasies
  • Reduce your anxiety
  • Confirm your disinterest

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

How to Pick the Best Type of Lover

This one’s easy. Find a geek.

Here are 5 reasons geeks make the best lovers.

  • Geeks build it so you will come

Second Life’s SexGen animation system, Red Light Center’s beautiful sex animations, and open-source teledildonics did not simply coalesce out of the mists during a marketing department meeting. These types of projects require strong technical know-how along with an open-minded approach to sexual variation. After all, you can’t build sex-tech that serves only your own preferences if you expect others to use it. Especially if you want them to buy it.  That geeks have the passion to commit their technical skills to expanding sexual options for everyone is evidence enough of their enthusiasm and dedication as lovers.

  • Geeks interact.

Where a technophobe is able to talk to you in person, a geek is also happy to be with you by texting your phone, flirting with you in a chat room, Skyping you, Twittering just in case you’re on your vibrating couch, sending funny cell phone snapshots to your email, playing online games, commenting on your blog, digging up articles that interest you, seducing you by instant message.

  • Geeks don’t shock easily.

Geeks have seen all the porn you can imagine and then some, priming them to be open to your sexual peccadillos. Geeks are not only less likely to be shocked by your exotic requests—they might not even realize that other people think your turn-ons are exotic. In fact, your geek lover might be relieved that your wildest fantasy involves only two other people, five utensils, and a trapeze.

  • Geeks know kinky people.

Geeks haven’t just seen a variety of positions, kinks, and fetishes in blue movies. Geeks know (or are) people who enjoy those things, so they don’t dismiss entire categories of sexual interests as the sole province of a bunch of weirdos in San Francisco.
It’s hard to sustain prejudice and bias against an abstract group when you develop relationships with individuals and discover they’re just like you. It doesn’t matter if they dress up like ponies, or refuse to conform to a societal idea of gender norms, or eat pancakes for dinner. Geek lovers know better than to try to impose their sexual preferences or standards on others—including your friends—and are more likely to love and let love.

  • Geeks understand multidimensional relationships.

Geeks connect with their online buddies in several guises, often getting to know the person behind the avatar as friendships deepen and move from adult communities to personal IM.
A geek can flow seamlessly between conversation about a friend’s partner and kids in one window and an elaborate group sex scene in another, without feeling any discontinuity between the personas—even if the friend is a forty-three-year-old father of two in IM but a twenty-two-year-old dominatrix in the group.
With all that going on, a geek has no problem accepting that sometimes you want mocha ripple cherry fudge chunk swirl with almonds and a waffle, and sometimes you want vanilla lite.

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Sexier Sex

by Regina Lynn

Recent Tips:

How to Reassure Your Man That Sex Toys Won’t Replace Him

More often than you’d think, men worry about being replaced by sex-oriented technology. They fear that their penises—which cannot vibrate or rotate and do not come with multiple attachments or clitoral stimulators in cute animal shapes—will no longer be enough after a woman gets her first ride on a jumbo-size rabbit pearl.

You will no more replace your man with toys than he will replace you with porn. Besides, those who prefer inanimate objects to human lovers aren’t good candidates for sexual relationships anyway.

Yet it’s important to treat his anxieties with respect. Think of how you would feel if he laughed or ignored your groundless worries.

  • Take him to a sex-positive store or website and look at toys together, reading the articles that tell you different ways to use them and focusing on devices intended for couples.
  • Use the toys with him so he can see how nonthreatening they are, and that they are just part of everyday sexuality. If he’s shy, tell him you will be in heaven if you can lie back and let him play you like a violin—and that you will return the favor next time.
  • Remind him that the more orgasms you have, the more orgasms you want. Using toys with yourself keeps you feeling sexual overall. As one of my friends puts it, “Having fries with my burger doesn’t make me not want a burger. It just makes me crave the meal again. And again. Are you busy right now?”

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